I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
