My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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