that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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