Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
