ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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