Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
