i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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