When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Randomize
