seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
