It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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