I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
God I need to hump something, right now.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
