I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
