Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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