I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
