Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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