apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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