So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
