okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
