You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
