You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
