it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
