He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
