All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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