Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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