my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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