I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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