these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
