she was so not down for the gang bang
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
