It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
