He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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