oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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