Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You ruined the universe
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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