It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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