it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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