when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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