bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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