Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize