I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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