she smelled like a LAN party
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
