No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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