You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
