yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
