remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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