My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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