guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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