Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i love accidental penises.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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