woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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