dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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