I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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