everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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