she smelled like a LAN party
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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