Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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