Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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