is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
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