Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
