Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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